Go Ahead, Get Your Ass Dirty

I'm not kidding when I say this - fortunes will be made and lives will be wrecked in the wake of an unheard-of stock-market boom that is sure to follow aceboyle2003's genius idea.

Q : "Why isn't toilet paper made out of pure cotton? How bout this idea- cotton toilet paper w/ bleach? Would that be harmful to a person's butt area? You would think that if a factory could add a small amount of bleach in the cotton toilet paper, it would make for good soft toilet paper that would clean your butt. What do you think of this idea?"
A: 100% Cotton TP, Now With 33% More Industrial-Strength Chlorine!!!

• for the health-conscious: 3 out 4 doctors agree it's 100% safe for your butt area
• for the yuppie: Disposable luxury for your butt area - when 800-thread-count sheets would just clog your drains.
• for the purist: Wipe your butt area with cotton as pure as your enslaved ancestors picked.
• for the bottle-blonde: No waxing! No shaving! Bleach those unsightly butt area hairs as you wipe!
• for the lazy: Disinfect your toilet and your butt area in one go!
• for the STD-encumbered (who also like poetry): To make you forget your VD itches - TP with bleach for you skanky bitches!