A Clairvoyant Will Succeed Where Clairol Fails

Q: Can a psychic help me grow nice hair?
A: Yes, of course. Just follow these simple steps:

1. Go through old family photos and decide which one of your dead ancestors had the nicest hair
2. Ask the psychic of your choice to get in touch with the spirit of your dead ancestor with the nice hair
3. Out of respect for the dead, first inquire how grandad's afterlife is going. Don't interrupt the old timer's rambling stories with remarks about how much this casual chitchat is costing you per minute - that would be kinda rude.
4. When he is done telling you about his arthritis-free Viagraless romp in the hay with the etherial Marilyn Monroe, ask grandad nicely to let you borrow his hair. Afterall, he doesn't need it anymore.
5. Have the psychic transfer the desired coiffure to you from over the river Styx.
   
6. Don't forget to get everyone's signatures on the transfer-of-property paperwork - prevent later litigation with a resident of another realm. Remember that there's a risk of losing your soul in legal disputes with the dead.
7. Submit to a brief session of hypnosis. (This is essential in order that you may be fully convinced that the desired hair is really yours now.)
   
8. Hand to the psychic her monetary compensation. This is likely to be equivalent to the nest egg grandpa left you when he died. Don't forget to get a receipt for tax purposes.