Sunday, December 10, 2006

Inventor's Daily Double

Q: "What year did fire start?"
A: Let's see ... that would be ... Zippo lighter in 1933 ... matches in 1805 ... torches ... they had those in the middle ages - I remember they came in quite handy during the witch burnings... Nope, I think fire started before my time. I'll ask grandpa, he should know. He's always telling that story about the first lightning hitting the first tree and starting the whole plasma physics fad.

Q: "Who discovered santa clause?"
A: Look! An old man in a red coat running a toy factory for no particular reason... I think we can market that! Excuse me, sir, do you know if you've been patented yet? Sign here. We will provide a company vehicle. No, not a mule-drawn cart, where've you been living - under a rock? On the North Pole? We've got flying reindeer technology now. I think we can release you in time for Thanksgiving... No, the headquarters are saying it's too soon, we can't put together the ad campaign in time. Christmas, then? There'll be some heavy competition... I think they've just discovered fire and are planning a Christmas release too. The fire thing is hot right now. Ah, what the hell, let's try for Christmas anyway.

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