21st Century Solutions to Juvenile Delinquency

Q: "What punishment should be introduced for youngsters for this ever increasing disruptive behavior? I mean kids who threaten people, steal, mug people, drive like idiots and generally make the public feel unsafe."
A: You're bringing to the world's attention an entirely new social dilemma, one that was not encountered by the residents of 18th century New York where youngsters simply didn't exist, nor Dickensonian London where they clearly couldn't drive like idiots, nor Depression-era America where there was absolutely no reason for them to steal, and certainly not 1950's America where they were so cute and non-threatening with their ducktails and leather jackets. Since this is a radically new phenomenon, I suggest we deal with it by innovative means:

1. iPods: Give these to the youngsters to play with. It will distract them long enough for you to escape to a safe and secure location where children and car alarms are banned by law.
2. Colonization of other planets: Herd 'em all up and send them to Mars - it's the 21st century's Australia. There they may surf the red dunes and leave you in peace.
   
3. Time machines: Use this technology to go back in time and abort every single one of these ne'er-do-wells that are disrupting your meditative existence.